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CHECK Berlin #3

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ENGLISH Psychology

ENGLISH Psychology everywhere. Loneliness and rejection are the issues that many of my clients struggle with. A very big thing is not being able to find a loving partner. Of course, if you look deeper, it is never a problem on its own, rather the result of many small difficulties manifesting in it. In conversations with my clients we often find that it is your own attitude that makes you feel like you are not accepted or loved. Sometimes you don‘t even notice that other people want to be there for you and may be interested in more than just friendship. Often this is a problem of not accepting that you could be loved at all. This naturally creates problems in relationships. I think many have already experienced that a partner had so many fears or problems with themselves that the partnership broke because of that. On the one hand, it‘s rejecting yourself, but also the rejection within the community that troubles many. Last year we shot the mini-series “Queer4You” for RBB, where, as part of a gay team, I specifically helped people in various areas of life. Now I‘m shooting “Ganz Schön Berlin” in a similar format in which a young, gay man also suffers from exactly this problem. No matter where he tries to get closer, he is simply not accepted in any community within the gay scene. Be it the bears, the leather guys or the party people, every community has its own strict rules by which it functions. And not everyone is allowed in. We may pride ourselves with tolerance, but this young man has seen nothing of that yet. He‘s never even had a boyfriend and he’s really not unattractive. Many gay men suffer a lot from this double rejection, from society, but also from their own community. You have to pretend a lot to be accepted. On the one hand, in everyday life and at work, in order to survive in a somewhat adjusted manner. And then in the various niches in the gay scene, where you have to adapt to find friends. For anyone who is a bit different, this really is difficult to maneuver. One solution to this can be to put your own contentment first. For many years, I didn‘t feel I belonged anywhere, never fit in, was generally considered ugly and was heartbroken. So, to this day, I don‘t feel like I belong to any gay community. When everyone rejects you, it can be very destructive. But you can turn it around and value it as absolute freedom. If you don‘t fit in anywhere, you don‘t have to adapt anywhere. You can decide who you are for yourself. And when you get to that point, the people who are a match also come into your life. And they stay. So rejection also bears the opportunity for personal development and freedom. Interview: Torsten Schwick Sven Rebel svenrebel.de IG: coach_svenrebel “GANZ SCHÖN BERLIN” CAN BE SEEN IN THE ARD MEDIA LIBRARY FROM CHRISTMAS AND WILL ALSO BE BROAD- CAST IN JANUARY. Stock Photo. Mit Modell gestellt. s.a.m health ist ein gemeinsames Pilotprojekt von: Schnelle und diskrete HIV & STD Heimtests mit Laboranalyse www.samhealth.de Online bestellen Test & Versand Schnelle Ergebnisse Tests auf HIV, Syphilis, Tripper und Chlamydien. 20 CHECK | AUSGABE 3 CHECK | AUSGABE 3 21

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blu, hinnerk, gab, rik, Leo – die Magazine der blu Mediengruppe erscheinen monatlich in den Metropolen Deutschlands. Die nationale Reichweite der Magazine ermöglicht den reisefreudigen Lesern Zugriff auf alle Informationen immer und überall. Themenschwerpunkte sind neben der regionalen queeren Szene, Kultur, Wellness, Design, Mode und Reise. Unsere Titel sind mit der lokalen Community jahrzehntelang gewachsen und eng verbunden, was durch Medienpartnerschaften mit den CSD-Paraden in Hamburg, Berlin, München und Frankfurt sowie zahlreiche Kooperationen, wie der Christmas Avenue in Köln, seinen Ausdruck findet.